So I don't really know what to say. I may not be active for the next week or two. A neighbors dog got out and got to my Chihuahua Chrissi. The dog is about the size of a Labrador with a very mean streak to boot. She had hemorrhaging, a heart murmur, and minor scrapes at first with a 50/50 chance or survival with the surgery. After the original diagnosis we learned that she also had a severed spine. Knowing that she would be paralyzed for the rest of her life and would have trouble eating and would need to wear diapers; I made the decision to put her down. I knew as soon as I heard that her spine was damaged she would be in so much pain even after she healed. At around 8:30pm on Sunday night I put her down. This dog was the only thing keeping me from suicide in high school. She was my sleeping companion and best friend for years. She would always get me up in the morning when she knew I needed to be up despite the depression, and when I had a mental breakdown she would be by my side and made sure I was left alone, when I cried myself to sleep I would always wake up with her either on my chest keeping watch or beside my head on my pillow making sure I was okay. She was my therapy dog for six years and I honestly don't know how I can cope without her. There were also family problems afterward due to a selfish family member.
I'm really not stable right now; so I'll most likely be inactive for the next few weeks. I'm sorry if I repeated anything or rambled, this just feels like a nightmare that I can wake up from but I know it isn't.